Many Fathers think that leading by example means to show their son how tough they are. There is this temptation to show our sons that being powerful, rich and a ladies man who runs a tight family ship is what it takes to be a good Dad.
As a father who was struggling to find work I thought of myself as a failure, and I went to a priest to confess this apparent sin of being jobless. You know what? He took me by surprise and said, ”you are here today and every week with your two sons waiting outside for their confession to be heard. I know I won’t see many fathers doing that with their children today and those pews are, for the most part empty every Saturday at this time. You are doing just fine because quite literally no father is giving their sons a spiritual upbringing which is what matters most in the eyes of the Lord. How they see you behave and act is what matters most. The job thing will ultimately iron itself out.
I was careful not to allow such flattering words go to my head and tried to keep my composure, but it was difficult not to say his words were the salt of the earth. We are forever indulging our children in the pleasures we never had. ”I never had that gaming console when I was your age” as if this moment in their life is somehow an incredible milestone to be proud of. It’s not, it’s ridiculous.
Of what use it is to take our sons fishing, teaching them how to tie their first fishing knot, if we don’t first show them how to untie the knots of bad habits we’ve created for ourselves? The anger, the impatience and the greed that weighs down our soul are things that keep us tied to the depths of the boring. And that is life is when we are tied to all these things, it’s boring and we become boring.
We accumulate wealth and want our sons to really be successful like we were successful, following in our footsteps to become great entrepreneurs. I once worked for this guy who was so upset about his son not following in his line of work to make money and really make something of himself. Haha, ”make something of himself” as if somehow being the boss of a big corporation really meant you made something of yourself. That’s just how ignorant we all are. Do you know what it means to have really made something of yourself? When you no longer take seriously such stupid concepts that you need to be the boss of a corporation to be happy.
Instead of investing in the riches of Love and mercy, he handed his son the snake instead of the fish, and taught him to invest in the riches of the world. Here is what it means to be truly rich, to be so content with what you already have or don’t have and yet still be content with ones life.
Nobody says you can’t have a career, it’s the immoderate pursuit of wealth and career that is the real problem, finding the entire purpose and meaning of life in these things alone. Is it any wonder my old bosses sons life was a mess? If you don’t take care of your soul how can you ever expect your son to do the same? If you lack the riches of the Spirit necessary to navigate life and fail to love others, then why wonder if your son becomes prey to the life of a junkie?
The primary goal of a father is to raise his son to Love God, neighbour and essentially give him the tools necessary for an eternal happiness that begins right now not just in the life to come. The Lord’s not going to say, ”So. . . John, I see you really ran a tight ship and got all your sons through college, and now they’re successful doctors, come on through the pearly white gates and take a seat, you really made it as a Dad”.
However, to the fathers who fed their sons the Body of Christ and satisfied their hunger for a realtionship with God, and to thoses dads who gave to their children the Cup of Christ Precious blood to drink from, satisfying their thirst for eternal happines, love, mercy and justice he will say: (Matt:25:34-35) ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink,”
This passage refers not only to the satisfication of the material hunger but the spiritual also I believe. Stop thinking you’re a bad father because you made some mistakes in your life or are currently incapable of providing much in the area of materialistic neccessities, because the Lord doesn’t take you to account for this. What the Lord will hold us all to account for is the death of their souls and good character. It’s hard for us dads to achieve that though, if we ourselves are not striving or at least trying to transform our own souls. Our sons need a light on the path to guide them through the tough dark world that awaits them. When we throw them materialistic things and require they become a great big ass like ourselves we are really placing a blindfold over them and like the blind leading the blind, taking them into the pit of worldly ignorance.