Absolutely nobody in this world indeed has the power to upset you. If you became upset, then it was really you that caused it. That’s not a very lovely thing to hear, is it? After all, we are so accustomed to blaming other people for triggering our emotions, that it seems absurd, almost bizarre to hold an alternative position.
Don’t get me wrong, people are to blame for their actions, but they’re incapable of destroying the happiness that resides within us. A power to destroy our life of content and peace is marred only by our actions. When I first discovered this, it was as if someone had handed me a shiny jewel, and it cost them nothing to do so. Suddenly, I realized that I’m the one in control of my emotions, not somebody else.
It seemed so easy to blame others for my upset because that’s what I was conditioned to do by secular culture. Whenever someone insults me, I’m supposed to get angry, confused and triggered. It’s only natural that I get furious with this person and then blame them for ruining my week and triggering my emotional state.
I found it a hard pill to swallow until I saw someone take the same emotional beating as me. Standing there, taking all the vitriol and yet not once being disturbed or seeing red. Why the difference in reaction? I believe St.Pauls advice on the need to have a renewal of the mind relates to this. Elsewhere he requests we never allow people to rob us of our peace in Christ.
The Drug Of Human Sympathy
Whenever we become upset, we run, looking for emotional relief into the arms of a psychologist, family member or friend, and rarely do we ever look for a cure. All tablets do is alleviate the headache, but they don’t offer a treatment that eliminates the cause. It’s not that we don’t want a cure. We are purposefully resisting the cure.
The reason for this resistance of the cure is because we are attached to being upset. We don’t really want to give it up because we feel being angry on the occasion of someone else’s behaviour is something natural and justified. Being without these emotions would feel like going to work with no clothes on…unimaginable. This is why we run looking for humans to share our pain, because we only want relief not a cure. Tomorrow we will be down about something else, and again the ever-wandering emotional cycle continues.
We delude ourselves that the vicious cycle of being upset, blaming others for that upset, and running to a psychologist for relief is one that cannot be broken. It’s not true.
There is an urgent need to sit down and be honest with who we are. Questioning the culture around us that popularizes the concept of being upset and blaming others for it as something healthy is necessary. There is no benefit in raising our blood pressure, losing a nights sleep and ending up taking anger management classes because of someones else behaviour.
I’m not saying that by reading this post, and discovering that you’re the root cause of your emotions is going to cure you from being upset suddenly. It won’t because the cure is something long and painful. It takes time getting rid of the current mindset you have. It is sufficient that you at least understand that you’re in control of the emotions and to blame for your feelings. Allow this to sink in and, like the ocean moulds the rock over many years, your new mind and way of thinking will eventually begin to take shape.
Questions or thoughts on this? Let us hear them in the comments.