PUTTING ON NEW CLOTHES
In this post, I talk about the word “trust” which is another word like “love” that gets misused often. In addition to this, I talk a little about why we get so upset when certain types of trust become broken in relationships from friendships to marriages. Towards the end, I speak about what it genuinely means to be the salt of the earth and finish with revealing what may seem like a contradiction.
I want to inspire the reader to a new way of thinking. Think of it like putting on a fresh new dress or suit. How different do you feel when putting on that elegant piece of clothing? A million dollars, right? There is, however, a better feeling on offer here when one strips off the clothes of the old self and straps on the new mind. It’s just one piece of the puzzle in which piece by piece we can put together a new picture.
You may even be surprised by how short this article is because the path to the peak of happiness isn’t as complicated as most psychologists and spiritual gurus make it out to be. They exist to sell a book, me? I’m not a guru or psychologist. I don’t even have a job; however, I don’t believe happiness is something bought but passed on.
I DON’T TRUST ANYONE
When I was 14 years old, a Catholic priest took a classroom full of hormonal teens indifferent to religion on retreat. He passed around A4 pieces of paper to everyone asking each of us to make a list of people in our lives we trusted. As the pieces of paper were handed back, people said things like, “I trust my mother” or “I trust my best friend.”
You could only imagine the look of disappointment on the priests face when mine came back totally blank. In full view of everyone, he lamented my empty sheets of paper. Everyone scolded me for not writing anything down, saying, “Why do you have to be such a weirdo? Just answer the question.” I told them that I don’t trust anyone at all.
An irate room of 30 young egotistical teenagers erupted in laughter. Trying to reason with me, the priest said, “Surely you would trust the doctor to put the needle in your arm? Don’t be stupid.” I didn’t deal well with being the focus of attention.
My heart was racing and my face redder than a baboons butt. I knew the answer but couldn’t respond. They were so furious that they appeared not to want an answer at all. How do you speak to people who don’t want the truth? I was afraid the fact would make them angrier, so I kept it to myself.
What was the answer? It was that I never trust the doctor to put the needle in my arm. Whenever I allow him to perform this procedure, there’s an understanding that I’m taking a risk, and that’s not trusting someone. Trust is when you know a person could never indeed do you any harm. You really and truly believe this because you have that inside knowledge of the person. How many of us here really know another person? We don’t yet we stupidly delude and convince ourselves that we do.
NOBODY BROKE ANYTHING
There’s no such thing as trusting others. Whenever we say “I trust you” what we are saying is this: I trust, not you, but the image in my head that I’ve developed of you. Whenever you don’t live up to this image, I immediately punish myself by becoming upset.
“You broke my trust.” Ha! Good one, nobody broke anything, sweetheart. You’re the one who drew me in glowing angelic colours. Instead of seeing a weak sinner, you saw a shining knight because that’s what you wanted to see. Then you blame me for your upsetness? You set yourself up for the great fall, not me. I’m to blame for my actions but not your emotions.
It’s not comforting advice. I mean if you’ve got a friend whose husband or boyfriend cheated on them, how difficult is it to tell them this? You want to put your arm around them, wipe their tears and allow them to live the illusion. You so desperately don’t want them to disapprove of you because telling them they’re to blame for being upset isn’t going to go down well. Your ego is so important that now we’ve got two blind people walking through life together being of no use to anyone.
YOU ARE THE SALT OF THE EARTH
Love is patient, kind, yes, but genuine love of another person can often mean a good shaking of the senses. To slap them with the cold hard truth and shake them out of that theoretical concept of why they feel such emotions is real charity. You may not be Christian but listen to this. Jesus tells his apostles that they are the “Salt of the earth” and that if salt loses its taste, what can make it tasty again? I know many priests and laity who view this passage as meaning something complimentary to Christians living the faith. It isn’t.
What is salt? Salt is “bitter” to the taste, a bit like sucking on a lemon (although I think that’s much worse haha). Whenever we put salt on the wound it stings so bad we want to scream right? Well, that’s what good advice and the truth is to the world. It’s “bitter”, and it’s not nice. Sound advice is salt to a wounded heart and intellect that’s been compromised by the worlds false philosophy.
Whenever this salt loses such taste and courage, what can make it tasty again? Whenever we compromise the truth for fear of losing the favour of our friends, we are good for nothing. That is ultimately Jesus teaching. Lose the zeal to heal the world? You’re good for nothing. We might as well throw in the towel and continue living our comfortable mundane existence.
Why do I say comfortable? Because we don’t want the truth, we want someone to agree with us and gently stroke our egos. The storm is raging, but we don’t want out of the hurricane, we want a person to come along and calm the waves a little. But to get out of the storm? Unimaginable.
Why do I say mundane existence? Because living life, where we are always up and down in our emotions, incapable of stabilizing our emotional behaviour is boring.
LIVING UP TO OTHERS EXPECTATIONS
I may be unemployed with no high school degree. I may appear as a blank page to the world with no ambitions and story to tell, but you know what? Ever since learning these things, I’m a happy unemployed person with no aspirations. I no longer allow the world to make me feel bad just because I don’t live up to their expectations.
If we can’t trust anyone, can we have a certain level of trust? I suppose you could call it that but it wouldn’t be, in my opinion, what I would define as “trust”. Sometimes I feel people so desperately want to trust others that they make excuses and fight the wisdom.
“If I don’t trust anyone, wouldn’t I become unnecessarily distrustful of everyone?” Being paranoid originates from the fear that someone may not live up to your expectations of them. It’s a symptom of the illusory trust. My advice (take it or leave it) is to plunge into life with the understanding you take risks with others. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them, but you’re not committed enough to believe that they will never fail you or bring you any harm.
When you meet a person, try not to paint a false image of them based on what you see. Don’t make expectations of them in your mind, and when they fail, you won’t be so disappointed. After all, that is how some of Ted Bundy’s victims ended up murdered. Why? Sadly these poor souls were lured in by his distinctive charm. Inside their head, they’d developed this lovely image of him, but it wasn’t who he indeed was.
HUMPTY DUMPTY HAD A GREAT FALL
Observe the freedom of people whose spouses cheat on them and don’t allow themselves to get upset. Analyze the attitude of the parent whose sons exams results came showing him as a failure. They’re not angry with him, but encourage him to do better next time. Wow, imagine having that kind of emotional freedom?
All of us in life are the Humpty Dumpty who had a great fall. In this fallen world, we lay in pieces waiting for someone to put us back together again. I’m hopeful that my article and many others like it to come will become the pieces that help put you back together again. Remember, you’re not a success when you’re a hotshot millionaire, you’re a success when you can live with or without the money and yet still be happy.
YOU CAN TRUST HIM
I want to say one more thing about trust. It may sound contradictory to the premise of this post, but there is one person you can trust. “What?” I hear you ask, “But I thought you said nobody could be trusted? You’ve broken my trust in this article haha.” No man can indeed be trusted in this world, but the other world? A different story altogether.
Why? Because we know he’s pure. We have inside knowledge and guarantee that he has our backs. We all know he’s true to his word, and that is Jesus Christ. The only words you’ll ever hear coming from my mouth regarding trust is “Jesus, I trust in YOU.”
Did you enjoy this post? Let me know in the comments.