As an ex-womanizer myself in my pre-Christian days, I’d had a lot of sexual encounters and affairs with women while in relationships. At first, I didn’t like the idea of going behind her back and cheating with someone else.
The feeling of guilt was super intense, but the more I did it, the more I began to like it. It’s a bit like the conscientious conscripts in the second world war my grandfather would tell us. At first, they’d refuse to fire a gun, but when they did and killed their first man, they’d be sick. After killing the second, they’d still be uneasy about it, but pretty soon they began to like it.
Like the conscripts become killing machines in the field, men often became adulterous machines losing every inch of guilt about their actions. It didn’t help if they’re friends were this way also. Even worse, it became more difficult to break the newfound cycle of lust.
- Boredom with the same old sexual routine means that adultery is not a foregone conclusion. The man loses interest in the woman because males possess a warped view of what human sexuality and love is. When a man becomes bored in a relationship, it’s not the woman that’s the problem; it’s just that he’s never really loved this person from the beginning.
What he fell into was not love but an obsession with her body, and personality at the time. Humans are like children with their toys. They see something they like, play with it for a while and then seek out a new toy. The reason they can never love one another is because they view each other as playthings for self-gratification.
- She got fat and ugly, and I hate to say it, but after learning he fell in love with your body, and not you should we be surprised here? Many women let themselves go, especially after childbirth, but it’s still no excuse for him. Why? Because he said he’d love you in sickness and in health, whether or not you’re fat or skinny shouldn’t matter.
- No appreciation of him and never complimenting him on the work he does around the house or in general. Whenever he comes across a woman who tells him what he wants to hear, this will lead him to wanting more of that emotional drug and seek out a new relationship. He’s not able to bear the cross with you, so in his weakness, he leaves for another woman
- Bossing him around and overloading him with chores that don’t belong to him. He’s come home from a long days work from 6 am to 6 pm. You tell him to wash the dishes, wake him up at 2 am and tell him it’s his time to feed the baby? Ouch, that has got to hurt. You’ve both got different roles to fulfill, let’s have some discipline around here. Women who wear the trousers in the relationship spells disaster. Both of them are trying to be captain of the ship, and that is going to end in tears.
- Constantly arguing and calling him names will only secure his desire to seek out or await the next opportunity for a woman who praises him. She comes along, praising him. He laments to her about his wife’s name-calling and she says, “I’d never do that to my husband” or “my husband is like this also, no appreciation”. They both find this very attractive that anyone would give them respect, and before you know it, there’s an unholy spark that ignites between them.
- Too many babies means a woman will have no time or be too exhausted for intimacy. A lot of men incapable of being chaste will often look for a woman capable of filling the sexual appetite that the woman cannot. This is not the woman’s fault but there are men out there incapable of waiting for the opportunity and will grab the nearest stranger to satisfy it.
None of these situations should ever justify adultery. Relationships require a lot of work. Sometimes things are going great at home and the woman is doing her best, but he’s just a pig and slave to his feral nature. He loves to objectify women and getting them into bed becomes a thrilling experience for him that matters just as much as the sex does. He loves the woman he is with but has no control over his feral impulses and is blind to the damage being done.
Have you had a man like this in your life?
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