Why Ending My Music Career Helped Me Enjoy Music For A Change

I’m 19 years old in that photograph.

I played guitar, wrote music and performed for much of teenage and early 20’s. I’ve actually played guitar since I was a child. Playing music runs in the family among the men, and naturally, I picked it up also.

I always wanted to be the rock star. I loved all the British rock of the 90’s. I spent hours practising and learning all my favourite bands songs. Oasis, Travis and the Stereophonics were top of the list of many other inspiring artists that convinced me to write my own songs.

I didn’t have much money, and I was also one of those kids who just wanted to get to the top without the hard work of forming a band. However, I did have a band at one point called “The Starlings” in 2006/7. My music was considered 90’s and old hat by the time I’d matured in writing. I didn’t allow it to stop me and continued to write whatever music I liked not caring too much for the existing trends that permeated the market.

Me at the age of 23. It was the last musical photograph taken of me before my conversion to the Lord

At the age of 23, I met the Lord and threw the useless guitar away to explore the new me. Some years later I picked it up again and recorded one of my songs I wrote when I was 19 years old titled “She blew me away”. I’d written it in my shed one cold winter in just a few minutes. Listening to the finished product, I was happy enough and was approached by the producer of MTV for it to be used in their hit series “Jersey Shore”.

What was interesting is that back then I was so wound up and tight about music. With the anxiety of always wanting to be the best ahead of everyone else in my age bracket, I couldn’t enjoy music. Now, not caring to be anyone or anything, I’m able to really enjoy learning a new piece of music or writing something down. I’m no longer restrained by my narrow vision of musical taste or the competitive ego.

I can breathe music for what it is. I’m even of the opinion that art never really was designed to make money from. It exists that we discover where we are from and who made us. The minute we monetize it, we kill it. The moment we hear the song of the bird in the trees, it’s beautiful, but when we label it a “name” we kill it. Stop trying to control nature and let it be itself. Same with music, let it sing its own song and stop destroying it with our ego.

Is what I’m saying making sense? In this post, I’ve shared with you some of my old music with some captions/commentary. I hope you enjoy it.

Number 32 was the first serious song I’d ever written at age 18
I recorded this one via Ireland and Los Angeles
I wrote this when I lived in Scotland. It was written in 10 minutes in my kitchen. I took it to my band who put some great music to it. We recorded in Perth Studios.

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