Love: The Great Misunderstanding

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

Have you ever tried to flatten out that piece of dough into the shape you want when baking, but it never quite becomes the shape you want? I mean yeah, sure, it comes close to the shape, but there’s always something a little off about it? Or how about when you try to describe the fragrance of a Rose to someone who has never smelled Roses before? No matter how wonderful the description you know they’ll never understand until they take the Rose, and smell it for themselves.

This is what it is like when trying to describe love. Don’t get me wrong, descriptions are helpful. Without a description the police cannot be given the motivation to catch the criminal. Likewise without an illustration of love we cannot discover the source of that love. Without explanations from someone or somewhere, can we ever be said to have the motivation to go and experience love?

Therefore I’m at the mercy of descriptions, explanations and various illustrations in this post. But if all of my reaching out to speak to others helps motivate them to drop their existing understanding of love, is that such a bad thing? No, I’m doubtful yet always remain hopeful that others will grow an ear and be attentive to what I’m saying. I also don’t want gullibility either. It’s very important that if you feel strongly about something I’ve said, that you let that be known. Remember, this isn’t a race to be right, it is a race to help one another. Any attempt to help me will be seen as a blessing.

Lets get started shall we? We live in a world consumed by the concept of love, and it takes on various meanings for everyone. Instead of being one concrete objective truth, love has become relative to all beings and cultures the world over. Instead of Love being the reality by which we change in order get closer to it, the world has decided it will force love (reality) to take on the meaning it wants. By doing this we distance ourselves from love, and we feed into the disability of original sin. This disability is where we choose ourselves over and above Love. We think we’ve chosen love but we’ve really only distanced ourselves from it through a false image.

If I put five blocks of marble in front of five different sculptor’s, asking them to to sculpt a woman, what will happen? Their sculptures will all come out with something slightly different. The reason for this, being an artist myself, is because everyone sees the woman through his own artistic vision. There is of course nothing wrong with that, but it’s still never truly an image of the woman. If it were a competition to capture the original beauty of the woman they’d all fail miserably. Nothing ever beats the beauty of the subject, no man could ever capture it.

Lets ask this question. Who paints a lover on canvas and then falls in love with the painting? Many of us are not in love with the person, we are in love only with the false image we’ve constructed of that person in our heads. When this person fails to live up to the image we’ve formed of them, we no longer love them. And they call that love? No! Love is when you see that person for who they really are, not what you imagined them to be. Many of us don’t realize that we’ve fallen in love with the painting and not the subject herself.

Did you not know that the national anthem of those who lack an understanding of love is “I did it my way?” When we are doing love the way we want, we are blind. You know they say love is blind? haha! No it isn’t, YOU’RE BLIND, not love. There is nothing more clearer than love but you’ve been sold a counterfeit version of it by the music, film and arts industry. The entire culture that surrounds us have taught us how to fall in love with a false representation of love and not love itself.

We carry around a shopping list of what our future Husband or Wife should be. “He should be tall, dark and handsome. He has to have a degree in psychology and lots of money. I want a man that isn’t introvert but extrovert like myself. I don’t think I could ever get along with someone too quiet and shy. ewww. I really need to make this marriage last, so these things are important”. You know what happens next? She marries the man, he gets into a car accident, ends up in a wheelchair. He can’t have sex, he can’t make her laugh, he’s no longer the bubbly extroverted Hubby she dreamed of having. Then. . . she leaves him.

Why did the marriage break up? Because she married her shopping list not him. She didn’t see him at all. When he didn’t meet the criteria of the perfect husband, she left. You see? Now, if (as I previously illustrated) I painted a canvas of my lover and fell in love with the canvas you’d say I’m crazy. But somehow people who fall in love with their shopping list and false image of the person they’ve constructed are sane and walk among us?

How do we find the source of Love? Why it’s God of course. But if you don’t know God or Jesus that’s not going to mean anything to you is it? I remember years ago walking around the highlands of Scotland, when a preacher reached out to me. He said, “Jesus loves you” and my immediate reaction was to roll my eyes and say, “huh?. . . What does that even mean?” I didn’t feel anything at all. Why? Because I had no relationship with Christ and didn’t know what love was. I thought I knew what love was, but I had no clue at all. Even now on this blog I’m talking about the ultimate mystery how dare I even. . .

How do you discover a dollar bill is counterfeit? You hold it up to the light and the light will reveal to you the watermark of its authenticity. I knew that the only way I could ever discover true love, was to take the love I had been handed by the devil through the ignorance of the world and hold it up to the Light of Christ. Ah! now I can see a little more clearly.

When we live a True Life In God and develop a relationship with Christ, then we are no longer doing it our way. Christ is actual love, but for as long as we’ve decided we are going to form Christ into our image and not the other way around, can we ever be said to know what Love is? Does the clay form the potter? Can the computer say to the technician lets program you instead? No! But that’s what we’ve done. We’ve taken Love (Christ) and decided we will be the ones to reprogram it. When we do that, we end up worshiping a false image, a false idol carved from the wood of our own ignorance.

In the beginning, I told you that descriptions are only useful for a time. The only way a person can feel the thrill of a bungee jump is to do it. The only way we can really truly experience the peak of the mountain is to stop listening to people talk about it and go there. The only way we are ever going to know love is to drop our false experiences and philosophies of it and go in search of the real experience. At what point are we willing to say enough is enough and I want out of this sewage I’m standing in? This is no easy task when you don’t even recognize the sewage you’re standing in.

I’m not going to attempt to pull you out of it no way. You know what bringing people to Love (Christ) is like? It’s like lending a hand to a man who is standing up to his neck in sewage. “Let me help you out of that sewage you’re standing in”. “Sewage?” replies the man, “what sewage? I’m perfectly happy where I am”. I mean, come on! how do you speak to someone who already is convinced they’ve got the monopoly on life? how do you lead someone out of the sewage who is convinced the “S***” they’re standing in is anything but that?

I think that a person has to first of all accept they’re up to their necks in it, before they decide to get out. Someone has to be sitting one day, like I did 12 years ago, and say “Enough is enough, I’m tired of this crap. I’m tired of the sinful person I’ve become and being societies monkey, I want some truth. I want to live a True Life In God. I want to know what real love is”.

I listened to a mans description of love in a book and I just said I’m going to seek out this love, and I’m willing to sacrifice everything I have to experience it. I got up one cold snowy day in the mountains of Scotland, got in a taxi, and flew back to my home country. I left everything as it was and just disappeared.

Unable to handle it I was going to return just 3 days later, when my girlfriend left me, and along with her my 8 month old daughter. Then God stood in the way and interrupted absolutely everything with his book True Life In God. Here I am today. I wouldn’t be here were it not for this book and Christ Himself. I have tasted His love, and let me tell you that no pleasurable experience on earth from orgasm to a hit of heroin could ever even come within such as a hair of the Love of Christ. . . Nothing.

There are many doors to true love, but the door that God opened for me was True Life In God. I’m inviting you to walk through that door also, but it takes real Sacrifice. You have to strip yourself of the garments of this world and stand naked before him. You must be willing to allow him to nail everything you used to be to the Cross. If you want to experience real love it is crucial that you get up and sell everything you own. Sell all the pleasures of the flesh, egoism and the false perceptions of love in order to possess the treasure God has in store for you.

If not, then you must be content to stand in the mirage of pleasure seeking thrills, and all God can do is wait until you’re ready to experience Him. I’m not going to be the nice preacher here. I’m not going to pander to you. You’re not some prize for me to have and neither are you for Love (God) alone suffices with or without you. I’m the man climbing the mountain, and offering you help. If you’re content to sit in the snow and die of hypothermia convinced it’s the right way to go what is that to me? You want me to sacrifice my experience of Love and sit and die with you? And you call that love? haha!

Love is being willing to sacrifice oneself to will the good of the other, but it doesn’t mean sacrificing love itself. This is because when we sacrifice love we end up indulging in the false image of what love is. We render ourselves incapable of willing the good of the other.

I’ve given every description possible of love in this blog post, but do you want to know the greatest of them all? Go into a Catholic Church, Orthodox Church, Protestant Church with a big enormous Crucifix and stare at it. THAT is love. Love is sacrifice. And in order to really get there we must be willing to Sacrifice everything in us to experience it. Jesus was stripped of his garments and hung naked before the world. We too need to strip ourselves of the world and hang naked before the Lord.

We must be willing to make a similar sacrifice if we want to get closer to the Mystery of Love. Don’t stop for nobody. St.Peter wanted to stop Jesus from completing the Sacrifice. Peter represents here the person who wants to pull us down to their level of human understanding of comfort. Don’t let them do it. Don’t compromise the journey for ANYONE. Climb the hill of Golgotha and grasp the true meaning of Love with both hands (Your Cross) and don’t you dare let go. Don’t do it for your wife, your child, your sister, your Mother. You cannot love the other in truth if you don’t put Jesus and sacrifice all that you are first.

Did you enjoy this post? Please dare to Sacrifice a little bit of your time and share it with your friends on social media. 😉

3 thoughts on “Love: The Great Misunderstanding

  1. Love is a choice…and the choice is sacrifice. For what? Joy! How? The Bible is clear that Jesus went to the cross for the joy that was before Him (Hebrews 12:1-2). Love is sacrifice and it is joy. Love is a choice we make. It’s a verb-a word depicting action.. Do you love? It is sacrificial joy-and nothing is more priceless than sacrificial love for the joy and peace it brings to you – and to others. How do we make the choice to love? We look to Jesus- after all, He’s the author and He wrote an amazing transcript all about love…it’s the Bible!


  2. Stephen, I really enjoyed your article. I am not religious at all. Must I believe in God or Jesus to believe in love? Absolutely not. My purpose in life is to grow my love for everything in this big, beautiful, chaotic universe. I believe love is the fabric of the universe.
    Most people don’t realize they have fallen in love with the picture, not the person. I think you nailed that on the head! My goal is first to discover (learn, realize) what unconditional love is, then practice it as best I can. That means not trying, or even wanting, to change anything about someone – to practice loving all of them, even the hurt, angry, messy parts. It is not their job to change so I can feel better. Each of us must seek our freedom in our own way, and be free to do that.


    1. All religious people and none do experience love. But in order to experience love in truth, it requires a seeking heart that looks towards the source of that love. Some are content to never look, and even believe they’ve found the source already. Love is more than something we learn, it is more than a fleeting emotion. Love is a state of being, and we fumble in the darkness of what we believe love to be, until we discover the light and clarity is given us from above. It is not something we acquire but discover and is a gift of Grace from God. And as for freedom, it’s not really something we seek but possess already, we are free to search for that, but to choose our own way above that of Christ means we have chosen the slavery of our own ignorance, being fettered in the illusory chains that we are free as opposed to the liberty we find in Christ and His commandments which are viewed as a stumbling block to freedom by this world that chooses itself. Yes, we have our free will to choose, but that freedom to shape the dough how we see fit, does not always guarantee it will take the shape of truth in the end.

      So it’s absolutely fine that you choose to believe in Love, but the invitation is there to dig deep and find the source of the stream. For this, patience and faith is required. But if you already believe you have found the source somewhere else, I’m not sure there’s anything I could ever do for you.

      But I do thank you for your honesty, and I enjoy when people ask very good questions. With regards to freedom, I’ve another post written just previous to this that speaks about what it really means to lose ones freedom. I invite you to take a look.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.