Doctor Of My Soul

Image by Sasin Tipchai from Pixabay

It has been some time ago but for months I had this unexplained pain in my back. I went to work with it every day and simply limped until I could bear it no longer. I went to see the Doctor. He lay me on the table and pushed down hard on my abdomen. He warned beforehand that I would feel an intense stabbing pain.

I did and my masculinity came undone faster than the skin off a ripe banana and I screamed like a baby. “Oh my goodness Stephen, that is the biggest muscle knot I’ve come across in a long time” he exclaimed. In my job I spent a lot of time sitting at the computer doing orders. The muscles tightened for lack of appropriate exercise and so they knotted up.

While walking my dog this evening I reflected much on this. Often it is when certain souls have hidden ailments. They feel the pain of such imperfections but are ignorant of the origin these maladies that afflict them. It is not until they become sick enough of having to limp around with such sinful habits that inhibit their ability to climb the staircase of Grace do they resolve to see Jesus, the doctor of their souls.

Jesus comes along through the form of a wise spiritual master (his Holy Servant the priest). This spiritual master has, much like the doctor, seen this type of malady before most especially because he’s had the same illness. It is his job to press down hard and find the reason why it is we are unhappy and suffering. “Ah” He cries, “There it is”. He pushes hard on the area of our souls and reveals to us origin of the pain.

At the moment when he presses down to stretch out the muscle relieving it somewhat with his words of wisdom we scream in pain. The revelation is painful, we don’t like it. The cure is vicious and we tend to shrink from it out of fear that something worse may happen us. It takes a brave soul to accept that the only cure is a good deep and painful massage of the soul. “I’ll carry on limping like this, I . . . I am fine really” is usually what the spiritual Doctor hears.

What else can the doctor do? How does one save a man from himself? It is better to let him leave the surgery and to carry on limping around in pain and wait for when he’s sick of it again and comes back. At some point the soul is going to accept the inevitable, to embrace his Cross and be cured and stop moaning like a baby.

The truth is painful. We walk around with a lot of sinful habits attached to our souls. These are not easily detected by the uninitiated and unlearned. But at some point in our lives we must discover the ailment that is preventing us from union with God our path to the Kingdom here and now. Not only must we discover it we must get sick of it enough to seek out the ultimate Doctor of our souls that is Jesus Christ.

Yeah, only when we are sick enough of our pride, envy, lust, greed, depression and the unfulfilling pleasures of the flesh will we end up in the Doctors surgery begging for a new life, a new way. When it comes down to a cure we want to be told nice things like, “You’re a lovely person who needs no cure. You’re perfect and Holy as is. What a Holy man you are.” Yeah, rarely does the patient ever want the painful cure and get the big needle in the ass. Even the sight of the needle of spiritual correction makes him want to faint.

“You’re suffering from pride and in need of repentance. You need to go to confession. You need to climb a mountain barefoot, carrying your much loved mother in law all the way to the peak. That will surely cleanse the soul” “Noooooooo” he cries and faints.

Go to your Doctor. Don’t ask him for painkillers for relief. Get him to give you that painful cure after which you’ll be less likely to limp again.

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