Advice For Those Given Private Revelations Or Gifts By God Who Are Struggling Having To Keep Hush About It.

Unless you’ve been commanded by the Lord to go out and testify to all (like Vassula, Fatima Medjugorje etc etc) it is probably better for you to remain quiet about what took place. I won’t talk about testing of the spirits as you’ve probably already encountered this advice. It may be in the beginning you are eager to tell everyone. Like the Samaritan woman at the well you want to go out and tell everyone. Some receive it well and others view you as nuts. O.K but what you have is something a little more in strength than that of the Samaritan woman.

She testified about what she had seen on earth and the people were a little more ready to receive it. The stronger the vision, the greater the testimony the more likely they sickness of their souls will not be able to take it on board because you speak of heavenly things no man has seen. For this reason you should be quiet and move quietly among the community.

In the beginning nobody will believe you and you’re going to get very depressed about that at some point, which is only the spiritual immaturity coming to the surface in you. You see, just because you’ve been given some undeserved special graces does not mean you can’t fall away or do and say some incredibly stupid things. You must love the persecution, thank God for it and don’t talk about it much. We are all weak. Sometimes we feel we’ve found a friend in someone and tell them but it is a mistake to do so and probably a great offence because you’re not treating the soul who won’t understand with the care she deserves.

Even though people may enquire about what it is you have and your conversion story give them a watered down version and tell the truth but covered with a veil which means you’re being truthful but your wording will protect them from thinking of higher things. See? I call it Holy deception. It is also optional to indicate that something has taken place for you to be here, but don’t give to much. It depends on the soul you are speaking to and what it is they need to know.

I had a young man who, when I was homeless living in a tent miles in the wilderness of the highlands of Scotland would come visit me. He was intrigued by my audacity to defy the local villagers who tried to get rid of me that I would dare pitch a tent for love of the woman I loved at the time. Many years passed and he knew me to be irreligious, a drinker, a gambler, a smoker, a horrible mouth more disgusting than anyone he’d ever known.

I recall one day his mother had died. He came to work in the forest park and sat beside me. He said, “I was sitting at home and all of a sudden I began to think about my mothers death and the after life. I thought, What if there is no after life? And now I’m panicking. What if it’s all blank Stephen? What the fuck are we going to do?” I recall not being that religious comforting him with some thought of an after life and not to worry.

Years later he friended me on Facebook and he never spoke to me on this platform ever. He was unusually quiet. He observed me on social media and this sort of new Stephen. He knew I was different. Here now is Stephen the religious intellectual who likes to engage in much debate about this and that were he was not like this before. Suddenly, and out of the blue he sent me a private message after years of lurking on my posts, “Stephen. . . what happened to you? Did something happen? Why are you like this all of a sudden? Please tell me. I’m going through all these things in my mind about God.”

He was amazed that this wasn’t a phase. It was the real deal. Unlike others, even high ranking priests and theologians and lay people, I gave him not even what I give them and said only that something spectacular happened, something of a supernatural nature and that is why I’m here. I explained I that this is all I can tell him and no more.

I do feel bad for not telling him because I loved him and I had great admiration for the love he had for his mother. I felt perhaps she had sent him to me, to help him, but alas, there’s only so much I can do. So I sent him a huge box of books, rosaries and cards but have not really heard from him since.

There are few who know my story and only one who knows it in depth which is my spiritual father. He told me it’s not a good idea to talk about it but he did invite me to write it down. he didn’t command it but left me free to write it all down, but I’m not sure I want to do that. My reasoning is that if I did people would find it and treat me differently. Other reasons include the idea that it will be of no benefit to anyone. To the spiritual it may be accepted by them but how, other than be entertaining for their ears will it benefit them?

To the non spiritual it sounds too crazy of a story that they would just view you as nuts. That is not how it is in the beginning though, as in the beginning you will want to tell everyone because it’s exciting isn’t it? But even religious people will hold you in great disdain so I invite you not to. You will naturally run to them assuming they’ll readily accept your testimony and what it is you have, but that is not the case at all.

Many priests were used to hearing things like locutions and Mary told me to build a well. I remember one monk saying this, “someone is always going on about some vision they had of Our Lady telling them to build a water well.” hahaha. I’m sorry I probably shouldn’t but I did laugh. They were not used to the rather unique story I told them and so it really spooked them. One priest jumped from his chair when I told him the devil will try to stop him from hearing me and someone will approach the door and ring the bell. He jumped from his chair and went to the door. On his way I told him that the person will keep him there and not let him go.

Sure enough I heard the conversation and every time he tried to end the conversation amicably the person greatly resisted it. “come here, don’t go away father I really need to show you this.”

By the time he sat back down in the chair he was white as a sheet especially after he heard my story. hahahaha. I laugh now when I think about the craziness of it. But he didn’t know how to handle it and many priests don’t really know what to do with something like that so don’t tell them. Unless the Lord has commanded you to go out and testify say nothing and go about your business always remembering that Gods will is more important than your own.

You see, I was young, I did not know what to do so I went around telling everyone. Some said it was from the devil, others believed while others thought I was absolutely nuts. If you tell them of earthly little miracles people can accept this, but try to teach them heavenly things and that which has been unseen or unheard of? Forget it. It’s for you. The Lord gave this to you not because your special but because he felt it necessary for his glory.

If you tell others they will treat you differently. Some will see you as nuts and some of the religious types obsessed about all things supernatural may end up worshipping you leading you to great spiritual pride. It’s dangerous territory and they examine how you behave and if you’re really sinful or commit this sin, have a crisis of faith or anything of the sort they stand ready to condemn you as false. Really and truly you are only inviting hardship for yourself. No, wait until you die then all will be revealed to everyone.

It’s optional if you want to write it all down but certainly under some sort of direction from a priest. Bottling it all up is hard. I know. It’s hard and there are moments when you feel like you’re losing your mind. Dealing with the general public and hiding away becomes the norm but know that everything God has guided for your benefit. All that persecution you receive either supernaturally or naturally through the ignorance of many sacerdotal souls is good for you.

It’s for your training and it’s necessary you have it otherwise it may not be true and all in your head. It’s also necessary that you be allowed fall into great sins too as part of your training to demonstrate that you’re nothing special and not more special than anyone else simply because the Lord has approached you in this way. People are amazed at why I love mystical theology so much, it’s because I need to read these books to make sense of it all. It’s part of the diet I’m on to keep me sane hahahahahahahahahahaha. I don’t know why I found that funny but it is. Sometimes you’ve got to laugh at it all.

At first it’s amazing isn’t it? And then after a while reality sets in and you realize that a return to the norm will never be the case. . . EVER. It’s over and while for the most part there’s war, there’s also those moments of peace isn’t there?. I get it, but now that you know more than the others, keep it to yourself. Tell yourself always you know nothing at all and view the others as more holy than you. Those who know you now and who heavily persecute you will one day know when all be revealed to them on the last day. Relax, for when you’re in the hands of God everything is as it should be.

Go out and enjoy a glass of red wine. Take a walk along the beach. Breathe in the salty air and enjoy your life too. I remember when I first met my wife. I was sweating all night long with the voice inside my head saying, “You have to tell her. No, Don’t, she’ll think you’re nuts and leave you. What kind of marriage would it be if you didn’t tell her?” In the end before we got married I told her and being the nice open New Jersey city girl she is that has probably heard it all anyway it never made her flinch a bit.

My finger was on the button to go to a monastery in the south of France and just disappear from the face of the earth but then she came along. And now it appears as if the diaconate is on the cards also. I’ve no idea what God is up to at all to be honest I’m just going with the flow.

This post is for people who have genuinely received something from the Lord and it’s understandable I may encounter a few people who think they do but don’t. If you do or don’t I ask you not to contact me and make contact with your local priest instead. This post is really for those rare individuals currently experiencing the joy but also the sorrow of it all. Don’t despair. . . don’t despair. . . don’t despair.

Note: normally blog posts take me half hour to rattle out but this one took 7 hours. Why? Because I had an irate parent come knock on the door. Someone has been spreading rumours about my son on the street and I’ve had to contact the police and all that goes with it to clear his name. You see how the devil works? Mental isn’t it? He does not want me writing these things it greatly disturbs him. What he does is he creates distractions and can only delay my posts. I guess it’s up to me to spot the trial and accept it learning not to lose my sense of calm but it’s hard, so hard.

I don’t know about you but I prefer to keep the gate locked or somewhat ajar. With this post I’ve opened it ever so slightly, but that is all and under the guidance of my priest have not completely opened the door altogether so I’m good.

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