The Blind Saint Who I Dreamed About Makes Another Appearance

May be an image of 1 person and flower
An image of Saint Matrona beside me at Liturgy
St. Matrona of Moscow
An original photograph of Saint Matrona of Moscow

There’s no need to introduce where this Saint is from as the secret is in the name. Saint Matrona was a blind mystic of the Russian Orthodox Church. We say blind with a sort of wink and a smile because in truth, her spiritual sight and perception was beyond that of any ordinary sinner like myself. She had the gift of clairvoyance and had been a profoundly prayerful and ascetical woman.

I have blogged about this before and hopefully I tell my story correctly. I had visited the Russian Orthodox Church in 2015. I wanted to convert that Easter but my wife’s heart was not in it. For this reason I held off because I wanted the whole family to go in and be of one unified mind. I stuck it out in the Catholic Church but my encounter with the Russian Church even though it was only a few visits never left me.

I tried my best to bury this desire for the Orthodox faith. Some years later I have a dream. In my dream I am inside my local redemptorist Church but everyone there is Orthodox. I encounter a black bearded Orthodox monk all dressed from head to toe in his habit. When in a hermits house some months later he had him pinned on the wall. I don’t think I told the hermit but there I was sitting right beside this Saint that appeared to me in my dream. I was sure it was him and although I now forget his name, he was a Romanian man.

Anyway, back to the same dream. Everyone in it was Russian and I kept thinking to myself, “Why are all these Russian Orthodox people here in a Catholic Church?” In the dream there’s a queue of people lining up to see something or someone. I assume maybe it’s a relic and so naturally I get in line. When I reach the front of the queue, in front of me is a very old lady and she’s small. She’s got grey hair and she’s blind. She’s wearing clothes any old lady would wear and she’s smiling.

She grabs me by the hands and looks straight at me (awkward because she’s blind) . I can’t remember if she said anything or if it was all silent. I wake up and don’t think much about it until I find myself looking at some Calendar and see this woman whose feast day it is in the Orthodox Church. In the icon and photos of her she’s depicted as blind.

I could not help but conclude the woman in my dream was her and people approached to venerate her or get some sort of blessing from her. I remember thinking, “Wow. . . how cool is that? It has to be her” I wondered why she approached me a great and enormous sinner. Why not approach all the other thousands of sinners in the world? Why me? What so special about me? But she did.

Two weeks ago I found myself being directed to sit in the Church and ended up at the front beside her icon. Last week we were on holidays. This week I return and I find myself being placed by her icon again so I took a photograph for you that you will see how close she is the to me. Surrounding her were other icons of other Russian Saints and all I can say is I know they’re watching over me. Then I raise my head and through the Royal doors I spot an enormous icon of Saint John Chrysostom my favorite Saint.

It’s impossible when standing there not to feel the presence of these Saints. I pray she helps me this time to finish the race, become Orthodox and thus end the conflict within me. I think about the dream my wife had when I was asked to become a Catholic deacon. I realize now that her telling me not to go ahead and do it because there will be scandal that will prevent it, that it was bad advice from the evil one. How? Because if I did not go ahead with it and heeded that advice, I would not have fell into the scandal of being crucified and ended up in the Orthodox Church.

I think about Peter when he tried to advise Jesus and say heaven forbid he should be crucified. Jesus recognized this advice had been from the Devil. It was important Jesus go and get nailed to the Cross otherwise none of us would be saved and there’d be no Resurrection.

For me it had been similar. It was important I go ahead with the Catholic diaconate and not heed the advice of my wife for the purpose of the same that happened Jesus. I had to fall into this scandalous mess that I may get that little push I needed and become resurrected as an Orthodox Christian. The strange thing is that my wife is now behind me 100%. Had I heeded her advice and said no to the diaconate to avoid the crucifixion of my soul by these people, I’d not be a Catechumen in the Orthodox Church today.

God bless

St.Matrona Pray for us.

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