The Grass Is Definitely Greener On The Other Side

Image by Bessi from Pixabay

It seems to be a theme among those who hear about my conversion to Orthodoxy. All my Orthodox, Catholic and Protestant friends say to me, “You know, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.” They are, of course, referring to my leap from Rome across the Bosporus to Constantinople.

I couldn’t disagree more with that. I think we’d agree every Church has its blemishes and fair shares of scandals. I don’t know one Christian Church who doesn’t have lots going on behind the scenes that we don’t see at the Liturgy. However, there are some Churches where the grass is definitely greener. How can the true Church not be more green than the other?

The way I see it as that I get to experience a Christian Church that is authentic to its traditions. I’ve the benefit of attending an ancient liturgy in English without having to endure the psychologically lacking and rigid type I’d encounter at Latin masses. It sounds cruel, but I’m sorry to say that I’ve had enough of the massive liberal Catholic Church and it’s schismatic Latin Mass breakaways. The two of them have been an enormous thorn in my side for years.

That’s not to say the Orthodox Church does not have its rigid (known as hyperdox) or radical/liberal types from protestant backgrounds (referred to as the Convertodox) but it’s not as serious a problem as you would encounter in the Catholic one and usually an American issue.

In the Orthodox Church you can go to Liturgy every Sunday and be guaranteed not to be surprised by a priest dressed in a witches outfit to celebrate Halloween for the kids. The Catholic Liturgies is like going on a night out on the town with the missus for a few drinks. You go into the bar and it’s a different band playing every week. It chops and changes all the time.

Priests are preaching about climate change, vaccine passes, Covid19, contraception and even some priests calling for the ordination of women deacons. Yes, on live national television you’ve got this middle class culchie (Irish term for nice boy from the country) priest with a corny looking wooly jumper and big ears on him on a chat show.

He’s asked does he believe in the Churches teaching on contraception and quite openly states he doesn’t believe in it. Meanwhile seminarians are being told to pack their bags for praying the rosary too much or refusing to get vaccinated while priests like this walk and speak freely among us.

You’ve got priests dropping the Holy Eucharist on the floor and handing them out in plastic cups at world youth festivals. Only God knows who is taking the Body of His Son Jesus and using it for inappropriate purposes. Catholics take the Holy miracles of the Eucharist bleeding as a sign of verification that they’re the true Church. They’re so clueless to the fact that Jesus is crying out to them in this way to demonstrate how disrespectful they are towards His Body.

You’ve got a never ending stream of corny music in the Catholic Church. The music is the worst. . . it’s the worst. You have priests doing Alpha courses that were designed by Anglican protestants to convert people. They’ve nothing unique of their own to use. It’s a complete and utter disaster.

Don’t ever tell me the grass isn’t greener on the other side. . . because it absolutely is. I’m leaving and I’m going to skip and jump with my family to Dublin on the day of Holy Chrismation which for now we assume will be on the feast of St.John Chrysostom. Afterwards I’m going to go visit St.Brigids last known place of residence near my house where there is a large green hill. I’m going to rub it in the faces of those who tell me the grass isn’t greener on the other side by rolling down it three times in honor of the Holy Trinity and I’ll do it with my kids. hahahahaha.








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