Are Unattractive Men Who Can’t Find A Bride Called To Priesthood?

This post will irritate many, and I’m not exactly God’s gift myself, but I have noticed the Irish Catholic Church has this problem on its hands. I had a guy say to me, “Have you ever noticed that lots of Nuns and priests aren’t exactly the most attractive in appearances?” I said yes, and St.John Chrysostom even noted how the ugly ones always manage to stay married the longest to one another. Therefore Chrysostom had no problem in stating the obvious that someone is unattractive and so that has emboldened me a little to write this rather controversial post.

I have met some priests who you can absolutely tell from looking and listening to them, that their failed ability to get a girlfriend led them to the false belief they should become a priest. It can also happen to men who have a calling to become a priest but end up getting married due to many factors that led them to the false belief God was calling them there.

Some men struggle in their relationships with women, and they assume this struggle means they should become a priest. I’ve often wondered if these men who are ordained and later discovered to be gay missed their true vocation to remain single or missed out on an opportunity to seek counselling for their inability to date a woman.

Whatever the various cases may be for each individual, the fact remains that some ugly priests are in the priesthood right now when they most likely shouldn’t be. A person who misses their true calling and ends up in the wrong one can suffer spiritually and they will do so in silence until they’re ousted as either gay, attracted to women and got into an affair, or ended up a paedophile.

That leads me to my conclusion that years ago in the old Ireland men were ordained who were paedophiles and gay. In their confusion they ended up in the priesthood to hide what they had or in the insane belief, it would cure it. Some were also not confused, knew exactly what they were doing and targeted the priesthood to get closer to children.

But in the last 30 years, a similar thing is happening which is to say that the Irish Catholic Church is getting desperate for men to join the priesthood. In the midst of this desperation they’re ordaining physically and at times psychologically unattractive males to the priesthood, men who struggle in their relationships with women and the idea of remaining single.

Such men assume, “I can’t get married because I’m not attracted to women or struggle in that area, and I can’t remain single because I don’t want to be alone or in the world. I love and am attracted to God therefore I’ll become a priest.” The same can happen to a man attracted to women. He assumes that because he’s attracted to women he should get married and that his proclivity to romantic relationships with women and lack of educational criteria for the priesthood means he’s not called. So he goes into a marriage and is miserable because he’s in the wrong vocation. In this misery, Both priests and married men can end up committing suicide and the same with priests not called to that office too.

This is how scandalous actions happen in both callings. It really is quite the tragedy but I would invite vocational directors to really examine the unattractive men and women presenting themselves for religious office and decide whether or not they are truly called. I would strongly urge them to stop ordaining people because there are few vocations out there and reasoning that the unattractive androgynous male will make do for now because he seems rather pious and gentle.

That kind of approach is a recipe for disaster.

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